Around my 20th birthday I experienced a lot of changes in my life. My parents divorced after 33 years of marriage, my family home I loved so much was sold, my family moved to different parts of the state, and I wasn’t used to being so far from them.

At 21 I married my husband, we moved into our own home, and at 23, we had our first baby, a beautiful girl. So within those couple of years, I have gone through quite a bit of craziness. I remain happily married, and my daughter is a toddler now, and although things are starting to feel quiet and normal again, I still don’t notice a change in my sleep behavior.

I really do attribute my sleeping difficult to the stressors of my life. I also attribute it to the fact that I suffer from high anxiety and panic attacks. I do take medication, but there are times that I am on edge, and unable to relax, and it really is difficult for me to get into a “sleeping” state of mind.

I have talked to my doctor about my sleeping troubles, but have refused medication. I would rather approach the problem on my own, and use sleeping medication as a last resort. There are some things that DO help me get to sleep, I use white noise (a blowing fan, sound spa machine) in the background and leave it on all night.

This helps me to relax. Before bed, I like to take a warm shower, and I use bath products with chamomile and lavender, which are said to aid in relaxation. Sometimes my husband will give me a back massage to wind me down, and I often like my bedroom temperature to be on the cooler side when I sleep.

If I notice, while lying in bed, that my mind is racing with thoughts about my busy schedule, family life, stressors, etc, I rechannel my thoughts and try to focus on soothing things, such as cascading ocean waves, or the breeze whispering through the trees.

I hate not being able to fall asleep, especially because I know that I won’t feel physically good in the morning. Without sleep I will have baggy eyes, feel groggy and less motivated than I would on a full night’s rest.

There are nights that I am lucky and get enough sleep to get me through a day, and there are nights that I am unable to sleep at all. Perhaps someday I will need to use medication, but for now, I am content in continually trying my own methods to get myself some zzzzz’s.