I still did really well in school, but I wonder how well I could’ve done if I were receiving a full night’s sleep. Lack of sleep is frustrating, almost panic-inducing. I look at the clock and think, “Five more hours till I have to get up…Four more hours…Two more hours…”

And as each hour creeps by, I get more and more panicky about having to face the day with no sleep. Sometimes listening to talk radio helps me fall asleep, or putting the TV on CNN. I’ve recently discovered audio books – if the voices reading the novels don’t put me to sleep, at least I’m learning something!

I do take medication for my insomnia. I’ve tried Klonopin, Lunesta, Trazodone, and I am now on a low dose of Xanax, which seems to help the best (although it’s not helping tonight, it’s 1:01 am!).

These meds are prescribed to me by a psychiatrist. What causes my insomnia? We’re not sure. It’s probably linked to the depression that I’ve suffered from most of my life (also on Paxil for that), and honestly, I think it’s just the way my brain is- it fights against sleep when it’s supposed to be sleeping.

I get up and play on the computer when I can’t sleep. If I’m REALLY wide awake, I read. I’ve read over 170 books so far this year, so you can probably tell how much I’ve slept…